Wednesday, December 2, 2009

More Fortune Cookie Madness

Hey Webternet,

So for those of you who read my previous blog on fortune cookies, you should know that they are already on my shit list.

Well, here are a couple more examples of completely unacceptable fortune cookies, all stemming from the slipshod menace that is Panda Express.

It says, for those of you who are unable to read poorly-taken, low quality, blurry photographs:
"If your work is not finished, blame it on the computer"

WHAT THE HELL.

That's not a "fortune"! That's not even a "compliment", like they tend to be when they are not fortunes! That's not... anything!
Are they trying to be clever? Blame it on the computer? You fail so hard, Panda Express. If anything, this is just "bad advice". They're called fortune cookies, not marginally clever adage cookies.

Here's another one that just might be worse than the previous.

"You will be unusually successful in business"

Is it just me, or is that somewhat insulting? I know it's actually a fortune, but it almost seems like it's saying it with surprise that you of all people are going to be successful in something.

It might as well say, "Frankly, I don't quite believe it, but this is what the crystal ball says: You are actually going to make something of yourself one day, you worthless piece of shit."

Absolutely ridiculous.

With all due respect,
Wilder

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